When there is an intermingling of emotions........coloured by events, past and present it is difficult to formulate them........just the feelings within feelings often tend to leave hazy images.....can emotions which pull at your heart find words? I don't think so! As I step into my 60th years, the resolve is to let all memories, all the people I have known fade away.....why even talk of my story....it is irrelevant....what is relevant is the change enveloping me...and an inner voice telling me to move in a directionless path....as long as it leaves people behind!
Relationships demand time, attention, effort.....one seems bound to act to sustain the identity of that connection.....but today I feel sapped of Energy....my Time since the 21st of March 2014 has been one of utter disbelief. It is so easy for judgements to be passed by words uttered by you, by acts done with the best of intentions castigated by your very own.....maybe a path is being opened up for me to merge with the unknown. Some may call this escapism, some may understand. I have lived with a belief for 37 years that surely I will see a crystallising of comfort and safety, keeping my discontent with the unfolding of events in the dark corridors of Time and trudging along BECAUSE I felt that was the only right thing to do....my path was set on that fatal day and has to be followed thru! But something within has collapsed, can't handle this utter disappointment.....have to be my own person, create a castle and live in it! Defeatist.....so be it! Things are hazy right now....
Relationships demand time, attention, effort.....one seems bound to act to sustain the identity of that connection.....but today I feel sapped of Energy....my Time since the 21st of March 2014 has been one of utter disbelief. It is so easy for judgements to be passed by words uttered by you, by acts done with the best of intentions castigated by your very own.....maybe a path is being opened up for me to merge with the unknown. Some may call this escapism, some may understand. I have lived with a belief for 37 years that surely I will see a crystallising of comfort and safety, keeping my discontent with the unfolding of events in the dark corridors of Time and trudging along BECAUSE I felt that was the only right thing to do....my path was set on that fatal day and has to be followed thru! But something within has collapsed, can't handle this utter disappointment.....have to be my own person, create a castle and live in it! Defeatist.....so be it! Things are hazy right now....
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